It was all hands-on deck for Holly Creek’s annual August Boat Regatta – an event that features head-to-head boat races on the community’s outdoor pool. Did we mention the boats are constructed of cardboard, duct tape, and plastic and are designed and built by residents and staff working together to build a sturdy craft that hopefully doesn’t sink to the bottom of the pool?
More Than $1,500 Raised for Humane Colorado to End Pet Homelessness
This was officially Holly Creek’s 14th Boat Regatta and possibly the most exciting one ever, judging from the number of bets being wagered on the boats. Betting on the boat races is encouraged, but everything is above board (and boat), as all betting proceeds are donated to a local charity.
This year, the regatta raised more than $1,500 for Humane Colorado (formerly the Denver Dumb Friends League), whose mission is to end pet homelessness.
Before we detail the boat racing action, a special shout-out goes to Life Enrichment Coordinator Rick Fernandez, who has organized the last three Boat Regattas.
“This is my favorite event; anytime you can bring staff, residents, family members, grandkids, and great-grandkids together for a friendly competition, it can’t be beat.”
– Rick Fernandez, Life Enrichment Coordinator
Infomercials Inspire This Year’s Theme and Boat Names
Ginsu Knives, the George Foreman Grill, the Clapper, and the Pocket Fisherman all have something in common, and that something is that they were famous infomercials with retail prices averaging around $19.99 or easy, equal payments of $19.99.
It was the infomercials of the 1980s and 90s that inspired this year’s Boat Regatta teams, crew member costumes, and boat names. Dining Services’ boat was named Ginsu Knives because, as their tall leader Tom Ingalls (made even taller by his white chef’s hat) said, “Our boat will cut through the water faster than a Ginsu knife cuts through a tin can and then a tomato.”
Resident Hale Moore, who sponsored the boat, was also excited by their chances of winning. “Our boat captain and paddler is dining services staff member Dakota, and she’s a winner in everything she does.”
The Suites neighborhood of Holly Creek dubbed their boat “The Clappers,” after the famous lights that you could clap on or clap off – the clapper! Their fearless leader and boat captain was Molly Nearpass, and each of her crew members sported a light bulb on their heads to clap on and off as needed.
The marketing department’s team took inspiration from one of the greatest inventors of the 20th Century – Mr. Ron Popeil and his famous Pocket Fisherman fishing pole – calling their boat the Pocket Fisherman. Finally was the Chaplain Services boat, simply called Experimental Designs.
Four Boats Enter, There Can Be Only One Champion
The 1986 action-adventure movie “Highlander,” about a sword-wielding Scottish Highlander who duels competitors, had a popular catchphrase – “There can be only one.” And that’s also the tagline for Holly Creek’s Boat Regatta – “There can be only one champion,” and that champion was…continue reading to the end of this blog to find out.
Four boats entered the regatta, but only one can be named regatta champion. It took three rounds of racing to determine who “The One” was.
Champion Decided Through Three Rounds
Round 1 featured the Pocket Fisherman (featuring two captains, the marketing department’s Isabel Godoy in rounds 1 and 2 and Kathy Berg in Round 3) vs. Ginsu Knives (captained by dining services team member Dakota) and the Clappers (captained by The Suites Administrator Molly Nearpass) vs. Experimental Designs (captained by Chaplain Robert Smith).
True to its sharp name, Ginsu Knives cut the Pocket Fisherman for the win and Experimental Designs defeated the Clappers. Even though the Clappers had many supporters with light bulbs on their heads, the round went to Experimental Designs.
Did we mention the controversy surrounding Experimental Designs? According to an unnamed resident resource, the boat was piloted and paddled by a professional whitewater rafting guide. We’ll talk more about that later in the blog.
Round 2 featured the Pocket Fisherman vs. Experimental Designs and the Clappers vs. Ginsu Knives. The Clappers’ resident sponsor was Marie Frederickson, who felt her team had the best boat and best athlete. Dakota, with her tall white chef’s toque (Canadian for hat), was rapidly becoming a fan favorite. Although the circumference of her arms resembled two strands of spaghetti, she found the power to sharply cut through the water for the win
In a race that was not so close, Experimental Designs blasted past the Pocket Fisherman, who touched the finish line first, and went into the third and final round with a 2-0 record to face the only other undefeated team – Ginsu Knives.
The Final Round Determines Who is the “One”
The final round was at hand, with the winner of Ginsu Knives vs. Experimental Designs to be crowned the 2026 Holly Creek Boat Regatta Champion. A battle royale that Holly Creek’s swimming pool had never seen.
Competing for third place was the Pocket Fisherman vs. the Clappers. Kathy Berg had the eye of the tiger, and she boarded her boat, and beside her was Lucia, who took over the role of boat captain from Molly, who suffered a muscle strain in the previous race.
Then disaster struck! As Maria rounded the turn and paddled toward the finish line, her boat capsized. Fortunately, Maria quickly got to the surface, very wet but safe and sound. Her boat, the Clapper, was a shattered, soaked remnant of its former glory – its light was now extinguished.
Finally, the battle du jour – Experimental Designs piloted by former professional white water rafting guide Robert Smith vs. Ginsu Knives, piloted by the spunky and crowd favorite Dakota. As hard as Dakota paddled, it was not enough, and Robert, with his burly rafting arms, cruised to victory.
Immediately after the race, Dakota was already thinking of next year. “When I race, I race to win. I need to find a new technique so that I can paddle quicker,” said the exhausted athlete. Dakota also mentioned the need to work on her fitness. “Right now, I can do one push-up; my goal for next year is to be able to do two push-ups in a row.”
Team member Tom Ingalls called Dakota’s performance “heroic.”
Better Luck Next Year
At the end of the hot August afternoon, it was a summer day of splashing-good fun for the staff, residents, family and friends of Holly Creek. All bets were collected and donated to Humane Colorado, and crew members began planning how to improve their boats for the 2027 Regatta. If you have an extra roll or two of duct tape, feel free to drop it off at the community’s concierge desk. It will go to good use and may end up on a winning boat.
